the ELLA echo

ella's first communion

we joined a new church a few months ago, all saints old catholic church.  we have left the roman catholic church and have become orthodox or old catholics, in the hope that one day in nashville there will be an reformed catholic church congregation. 

on easter sunday, ella made her first holy communion.  my parents were able to be here for the occasion.  while a first communion is actually a roman practice, ella wanted to make a more formal occasion of it, to have important family members present, since her whole experience in life thus far has been roman.  fr. kevin was very understanding and went out of his way to make this day special for her.

 

the altar before mass started:

 

flowering the cross—everybody brought flowers from home and covered
the empty cross with them—we had never seen this before, but we all loved it
and it gives me a new insight when i see a cross covered in flowers
on the side of the road:

 

children’s homily:

 

communion at this church is normally taken kneeling at the rail, but fr. kevin had ella come up last, standing at the front of the aisle, so that the whole church could witness and pray with her as she made her first communion.

 

joyfully prayerful afterward:

 

there was some discussion in our family as to whether or not she would wear a veil.  in the end, she told me that she had prayed on it and her heart had told her not to wear one.  so she wore one of her favorite headbands instead.

 

fr. kevin filled ella’s holy water bottle with the water he had blessed at mass.  those are my adorable mama and daddy on the left.  after this day was all over, i told rudi that i had finally discovered the value of paying a professional photographer for big events:  they are not involved, so they have the presence of mind to get the family all together for pictures.  i am not a professional photographer and thus did not have that presence of mind.  :(

 

 

the mass was followed by a potluck lunch and an easter egg hunt!

 

 

mama gave ella a rosary that has the sacred heart on one side of the centerpiece and our lady of fatima on the other.  the stones in the centerpiece and the halo of the crucifix are ella’s birthstone.

 

according to ella, she is now fully qualified and authorized to take communion everywhere in the world, so now she wants to go to mass every day.

our lenten home altar

 

 

 

skip ahead, skip ahead, skip ahead

wow, i did not mean to be away from the blog so long.

so—while i was gone--we had advent and then christmas, which i’ll tell you about sometime.  then we had new year’s day and a road trip to visit family in january, which i’ll tell you about sometime.  then we had groundhog day and st. valentine’s day, which i’ll tell you about sometime.  that brings us up to lent.

because of various conflicts, we are not currently members of any parish or faith community.  thus, we do our liturgical observances at home.  for ash wednesday, ella and i had a small, private distribution of ashes in our dining room, to which we invited friends on short notice (as usual).

table prepared with service handouts for participants, a new candle, the cast iron skillet (for burning) with the palm leaf and the lighter, and sheets of paper for participants to write down the spiritual burdens they wished to offer up during lent.  i realized too late that i don’t have any lenten table linens—i've just never had a need, i guess—so we used the only purple table runnerish thing we have, which is a yoga mat.  :)

 

the service i used was one i found at a site called ashes to go.  had i found it a week or so sooner, i’d have actually taken the ash service to the street as they do.  but i didn’t find them in time to plan anything meaningful for this year, so i’m putting it in the file for next lent.

at the beginning of the service we cut the palm into pieces (everybody got to cut a piece to add to the pile), i lit the pieces and then we added our sheets of burdens to the flames.  i had intended to do this outside but it was very windy and that didn’t seem safe, so we did it on the table inside (that’s why there are hot mats under the pan), and i had a pot lid on hand to cover it with if it got out of hand.

 

pieces of palm--it smelled wonderfully church-like as it burned.

 

ella writing the spiritual burdens she wanted to offer to god during lent.

 

ella included her dollies, who she is instructing in the faith.

zoe and wren in the back, dora in the front getting her ashes.

 

following the service we had a home retreat consisting of a lenten lunch (cranberry beans and rice), reading of the story of jesus in the wilderness from several different bibles, and a viewing of the first episode of bill moyers' “genesis:  a living conversation” on netflix streaming. 

we closed the retreat with a reflection on the ways in which we hope to respond to lent spiritually, physically, and communally, and committed those reflections to paper so we could encourage each other along the way.

 

*originally i had planned to use a child-friendly ash wednesday service i found at fresh worship, but decided to go simple, simple this year, since it was my first go at it.  i’m glad i did—the service we used was plenty, and it was just right for us.

the difference

my last blog post hit a nerve with some readers (as i expected it would). some understood me to say that children should be allowed to get away with whatever they choose.  some thought i meant that children should not be held to any standards of decency or civil behavior.

but read it again.  nowhere do i suggest that children--or anybody--be allowed to be rude or disrespectful, or that they be permitted to endanger themselves or others.  what i did say, explicitly, is that i believe my child should be allowed and encouraged to think for herself, to learn to exercise her own good judgment--that i do not believe it is good for her, or good for society, for her to take what she is told at face value or to accept as gospel the word of someone who has not made their case.

so—what do i expect in place of obedience?

cooperation.

the difference is just this:  obedience says, "do what i say".  cooperation says, "work with me on this".

obedience is a top-down relationship.  the person having the most power forces the other to bend to his/her will, regardless of purpose or reason.  by contrast, cooperation is a relationship of partners.  each relies on the other for support and contribution to a shared need or goal. 

regular readers of this blog know that ella is a cooperative child.  this is partly her nature (and i plan to write about the challenges of this characteristic soon)--but i believe, based on my experiences with other children, that it is also a function of how they are approached.  when an adult says to a child, "please do this, because XYZ,", the child learns that his help is needed, and he learns why. a habit of explaining things to children sets them up to expect reasons that make sense, that put things into context.

when one day the child is confronted with the person who says, "i'm in charge, do it my way," without providing any reason for this assumption of power, the child will have been equipped by his previous experience to expect some evidence that what he is being asked to do is reasonable or has value.

in other words--the child learns to think for himself.

adults are sometimes threatened by children who question their authority.  in my experience these adults are the ones likely to exert the most effort towards obedience.  while i don't judge their reasons for this, i do wonder if this is the best method for achieving the goal.

i don't want an obedient child

you heard me right. 

i don't want a child who will do what she's told.

i don't want a child who does not question authority.

i don't want a child who follows the rules.

no.  i want a child who examines data, takes chances, challenges assumptions. 

i want a child who, when told that things are a certain way, asks "why", and then sets out to find the answer.

i want a child who, when the stranger, or the boyfriend, or the gang leader, or the preacher, or the politician, says, "follow me", asks "where are you going? what are you going to do there?  why should i go too?". 

i want a child who, when confronted with disorder, ambiguity, obscurity, absurdity, or confusion, will stand upright and ask, "how can we fix this/make it better/make it right?"

obedient children don't do that.

but children who are allowed to nag society for the truth--to get in the face of authority, power, privilege, ambivalence, the status quo, and demand solutions--those children change the world.

advent, day 24: angels

this was the most involved project of advent, in fact it would have been too much except that it was hand AND FOOT painting so ella was totally on board.

you may copy and print out the note the advent goblins left us if you wish.  the goblins are pleased to report that the entire note was of their own doing.  :)

 

Angels are messengers sent from God, usually with good news.  Angels appear in the Bible from the beginning to the end, at the most unlikely times, to the most unlikely people.

On your Jesse Tree you have symbols of times when angels appeared.  Abraham, Jacob, Daniel, Zechariah, Mary, Joseph—all were visited by angels and each time, the first thing the angel said was, “Do not be afraid.”

This is the message that God has sent us over and over, from the book of Genesis to the book of Revelation, and continuing to this day.  He came to earth as a tiny, helpless baby so that we wouldn't be afraid of Him anymore, but would go to Him with joy and gladness.

Read Luke 2:8-20

Have a grown up paint the bottom of your foot then stamp it on a piece of paper.  Paint and stamp your foot two more times, with each stamp touching the one before.  Let the paint dry then cut out the stamped design.  This will become the gown for an angel.

Meanwhile, have your grown up paint both hands and stamp them onto a piece of paper.  Hold your fingers together while you make the stamp.  Let the paint dry then cut out the hand prints.  These will become the wings for your angel.

Form a small circle at the end of a pipe cleaner.  This will be your angel's halo.  Cut off the excess pipe cleaner but leave a tail for attaching to the angel's body.

Cut out two circles from paper.  Draw or paint a face on one circle.  On the other circle, glue short pieces of yarn for hair.  Glue the tail of pipe cleaner halo to the back of the face circle, then glue the circle with the hair to the other side—the pipe cleaner tail should be between the two circles.

When everything is dry, form a cone with the foot prints and tape or staple it closed.  Insert the pipe cleaner tail into the top of the cone so that the face is to the front and staple it in place.  Position the wings on the angel's back and staple them into place.

Decorate your angels if you wish with paint, glitter, sea coins, or any other embellishment you wish.

Hang your angel on your Jesse Tree as a reminder that God loves you and watches over you at all times.

 

here are a few pictures of how we made this ornament:

advent, day 23: bethlehem

the day before christmas eve is the day that ella calls “christmas adam”—because adam came before eve.  :)  on christmas adam we have dinner then get in jammies, make a pot of hot cocoa, and drive around looking at christmas lights.  since ella had been sick for a few days, she was not really up to doing a craft project, so this ornament did not get made.  i feel ok about this.  we still read the reflection and the bible verses, and if she feels like it we’ll do it this weekend.

you may copy and print out the note the advent goblins left us if you wish.  the goblins wish to mention that the first two paragraphs are from the reform church of america’s page, jesse tree family devotions:  advent 2010.

 

Often God does things that surprise us.  God chose the small town of Bethlehem for the birthplace of Jesus.  In Bible times, most rulers in important families were born in bigger cities, but Jesus was born into an ordinary family in a small village.  God chose Bethlehem many years before Jesus was born.  The prophet Micah wrote that Bethlehem would be the place where the Savior would be born.

Read Micah 5:  2-4  and Luke 2:1-7

On a brown piece of paper draw the outlines of a small town.  Cut out the town and glue it to a piece of dark blue or black paper.

Next cut out small pieces of yellow paper for windows and glue them in place on the buildings in your town.  Cut out one big star for the sky, glue it in place, and use chalk or paint to draw rays of light from the star to the place in the town where you think the manger should be.

Hang your ornament on your Jesse Tree to remind you that no matter where you are or how small you are, God can use you to do might things.

 

here are a few blurry pictures of lights we saw on our drive.  i was so surprised to see many nativities with mary holding baby jesus, rather than him in the manger.  i like that.  one day i hope to see a big plastic light-up mary breastfeeding baby jesus.  that would be awesome.

advent, day 22: joseph of nazareth

ella was sick the morning this project was in the advent calendar so we didn’t get around to it for a few days.  thankfully she is all better now and as you can see, her crafting skills have not suffered.  :)

you may copy and print out the note the advent goblins left us if you wish.  the goblins wish it to be known that the first two paragraphs of their note came from the reform church of america’s page, jesse tree family devotions:  advent 2010, and the next three paragraphs came from marietta community church’s page, awaiting our deliverer.

 

Jesus had an earthly father named Joseph, who was a carpenter.

God sent an angel to talk to Joseph in a dream. The angel explained that God had chosen Mary, and that Mary's baby would be very special. When Joseph woke up, he knew that he and Mary were a part of God's plan. Joseph knew that he would be a good father to Jesus.

We don't know much about the earthly father of Jesus. We do know that he was of the royal line of David, but that was of little worth in his day. We know he was a working man, a carpenter. And we know that he was a man of compassion.

But this news must have taxed every ounce of compassion within him. What was Joseph supposed to think? His fiancée was pregnant, and he knew he wasn't the father. Some men would have given free reign to ego and anger. But not Joseph. He resolved to break the engagement quietly to spare Mary from public disgrace.

This whole episode must have grieved him to distraction. It's a wonder he could fall asleep long enough to have the heaven-sent dream. But dream he did. And when he woke up, he followed the angel's orders--which tells us one more thing about Joseph. He was a man of faith.

Matthew 1: 18-25

Have a grown up cut off the ends from two popsicle sticks.  Have your grown up cut one of the popsicle sticks shorter than the other one.  Paint the longer popsicle stick silver or grey.  When it is dry, use a marker to draw inch and half-inch marks on one side of the stick.

Lay the painted popsicle stick on the table with the marked side facing up.  Glue the ends of the two popsicle sticks together so that they form a right angle and let them dry.  You've made a carpenter's square, the traditional symbol for Joseph, who was a carpenter.

Hang your ornament on your Jesse Tree as a reminder that even when we don't understand God's plan for our lives, we can trust that his plan is good.

 

here are a few pictures of how we made this ornament:

advent, day 21: mary

today’s project involved handprints and paper folding.  ella was so happy.

you may copy and print out the note the advent goblins left us if you wish.  the goblins wish it to be known that the first two paragraphs of their note came from thereform church of america’s page, jesse tree family devotions:  advent 2010, and the fourth paragraph came from marietta community church’s page, awaiting our deliverer.

 

God had a special job for someone. God was looking for an earthly home for baby Jesus. Jesus was going to need a mother who loved and trusted God. He would need a mother who was smart and strong and loving. God chose Mary to be Jesus' mother.

God sent an angel to talk to Mary. Mary wasn't sure that she could be a good mother to Jesus, but the angel reminded Mary that God would be with her. Mary knew that being a mother is a difficult and important job, but she knew that God would guide her. She also knew that she loved God and wanted to do whatever she could to serve him. Mary said yes with a joyful heart.

She did not have to accept this task. She could have said no. But Mary trusted God and was willing to fulfill the role He had chosen for her.

We often think of Jesus' mother as "gentle Mary meek and mild." But the young woman in this passage is made of much stronger stuff. It took incredible courage to submit to becoming the mother of God's Son.

Read Luke 1: 26-38

Trace your hand onto white paper and cut it out. Gently roll your handprint at the wrist so it forms a cone and use tape, glue, or staples to hold it together. Then gently curl each finger outward to form flower petals.

Cut a short piece of yellow pipe cleaner and fold it in half. Curl the ends of the pipe cleaner to make the stamens of the flower.

Twist the end of a green pipe cleaner onto the center of the yellow pipe cleaner, making a stem. Gently insert the free end of the stem into the center of your handprint blossom. You've made a lily! This is the traditional symbol for Mary's pure heart.

Hang your flower on your Jesse Tree to help you remember that God brings new life to ordinary people who are opened to his invitation of love.

 

here are a few blurry pictures of how we made this ornament:

advent, day 20: john the baptist

potentially you heard the squealing when ella found out that there was more hand painting involved today.  :)  seriously, i had no idea how much this type of craft meant to her.  i’m so glad the advent goblins figured it out, because it has made her SO, SO happy.

you may copy and print out the note the goblins left us if you wish.  the goblins wish to mention that the first three paragraphs of their note came from the reform church of america’s page, jesse tree family devotions:  advent 2010.  i have included the picture that was with the note for reference when doing the craft:

 

Elizabeth and Zechariah's son grew up to be John the Baptist. He was Jesus' cousin. God chose him to tell the people about Jesus.

John wanted people to know that Jesus is the Son of God, the savior that God had promised the people so many years ago. He wanted them to be ready to believe in Jesus. John wanted the people to remember God, and he baptized them in the river if they promised not to sin any more. The baptism reminded them that God forgave them for their sins.

John did not look like other people, and some people probably thought he was a little strange. But many other people listened to John, and they were ready to believe in Jesus.

Read  Mark 1:1-8

For centuries John the Baptist has be symbolized with a shell. The three accompanying water drops represent the Trinity - Father, Son and Holy Spirit - into which Christians are baptized

Paint your pointer finger and stamp it on a piece of construction paper.  Paint and stamp your finger again, placing the base of your finger touching the base of the first stamp you made, and with the tip fanning out just a little, on each side of the first finger stamp.  Continue painting and stamping your finger until you have the shape of a shell.  Paint and stamp your finger across the bottom of the shell to make a hinge.

Let the paint dry then put three drops of glue on your shell and cover them in glitter to make three sparkly drops of water.

Hang your ornament on your Jesse Tree to help you remember that God sends us His Holy Spirit to help us prepare our hearts to welcome His Son into our lives.

 

here are a few pictures of how we made this ornament: