the ELLA echo

camp nighting

ella woke up at 2:45am and couldn't get back to sleep, so we got up and went into the living room to sit in the dark and watch the screensaver (don't laugh, we've done this since she was born and she loves seeing all the pictures of her family rolling by).

this time, she had an idea--she found her flashlight and wanted to make shadows.

suddenly, she stopped and announced, "time for camp nighting!".  she stuck the flashlight between the cushions in the couch and asked for march meadows and sticks.  then she taught me the fine art of roasting march meadows on the camp night:

i ate more march meadows this morning between 3am and 5am than i've eaten in the past two years, and i loved every bite.

bike ride

ella had her first real bike ride today--we got a bike rack for the car so we could take our bikes to ride someplace other than our non-sidewalk-having, speed-demon-cut-thru neighborhood.  ella SOBBED when she saw us putting the bikes on the rack--i think she thought we were getting rid of them--all we could do was just put her in the car and hope she'd calm down (which she did, after spending the first half of the drive staring out the back window at the bikes).

we went to the main trailhead of the shelby bottoms greenway and nature park and when she saw rudi taking the bikes down from the rack, she got so excited that she practically tore her car seat belts off to get out of the car.  she made sure we all had our helmets on, and she was ready to roll (the fact that i was not yet on my bike was not relevant).

this is a beautiful, safe, quiet place to ride.  it was such a luxury to be out in the fresh air and sunshine--no phones ringing, no TV, no radio--just the sounds of the birds, the bugs, and ella pointing out the sounds of the birds and the bugs.  we rode the entire paved trail (about 5 miles) and as we were putting the bikes back on the car, ella was already asking if we could go back out.

looking back

when i first started blogging, i set up a test blog where i tried out features before using them "live".  i still have that blog--no, i'm not giving you the address--but i'm moving the ella posts here.  after all, this is not a test, this is real life.

stroller waving (posted june 12, 2004 at 01:17 AM)

"my goodness how you love a stroller ride!!! sometimes you won't even let me take you out of the stroller when we get to school. and now you have a queenly wave, riding with one hand holding onto the tray and the other hand raised as if waving to the world. and the squeal! it makes your daddy and me so happy.

things you watch on your stroller rides:

the ground
vehicles that make loud noises
other babies"

stand up 8 (posted june 12, 2004 at 11:20 PM)

"all week long you have been trying to let go and stand alone. you do it best in the bed--i guess the soft mattress helps you hold your balance--but more and more you are trying it on the floor, and every time you look more and more confident.

"i love the smile on your face when you learn something new. you are so proud! and i am so proud of you too. i am so thankful that i get to be your mommy."

heavy breathing  (posted June 13, 2004 at 02:09 AM)

"just today you started making the sweetest sound, it is like a happy "hahahahaha" when you get excited, but it is soft heavy breathing. you do it most when you see one of the dogs, but you will do it on demand if i start first. and you have a smile that says, "i figured out something else i can do!" "

all in one day  (posted june 14, 2004 at 11:48 PM)

"today you waved at me!!! you stood at your step-n-play, pulling on the bell, and then you waved with a giant smile on your face and a happy happy squeal. and when i waved back, you did it again! you wave just like i do--with your hand wide open, waving your arm side to side. or in your case, more up and down. :)

"and you started feeding your cheerios to the doggies. sometimes you just dropped them on the floor, and sometimes you let them lick them out of your hand. you looked so cute, sitting in your high chair, reaching down to the doggies and trying to pet them. i love how excited you get when we come home and they greet you, you kick and giggle and nearly wiggle yourself out of my arms."

singing  (posted june 16, 2004 at 01:39 PM)

"a sweet soft hum, sometimes when i'm singing, sometimes when the radio is playing, but definitely trying to be part of the music. it is the sweetest sound i've heard yet."

(notice the time on these posts--all but one was made in the middle of the night after nursing her back to sleep.)

"and you started feeding your cheerios to the doggies. sometimes you just dropped them on the floor, and sometimes you let them lick them out of your hand. you looked so cute, sitting in your high chair, reaching down to the doggies and trying to pet them. i love how excited you get when we come home and they greet you, you kick and giggle and nearly wiggle yourself out of my arms."

mall snow

this is from early in june (yeah, i know--i'm trying to catch up). at our favorite local mall there is a display for a system that makes an "environment"--there is a huge TV screen that shows videos of things like the rain forest, the launch pad of the space shuttle, thunderstorm in the desert, etc. during each clip, the system produces an effect to go with it--mist falls when you see the rain forest, fog comes out when the shuttle takes off, the floor rumbles during the thunderstorm--etc. ella's favorite was the one that every child growing up in the deep south craves: SNOW.

the foot dance

for almost 15 years, rudi and i have had a tradition of doing a "foot dance" to the opening music of saturday night live.  the only rule is that the dance has to be as silly as possible.

the first saturday night after ella was born, we propped ourselves up in bed, propped her up between us, and when the music started we foot danced as usual, and i danced her tiny feet for her.  it was the best foot dance we'd ever had.

last night, with no prompting, ella lead her first foot dance.  she just propped herself up between us, threw her little legs in the air, and DANCED.  and it was playful, energetic, and outrageous.  just like she is.

it was the best foot danced we've ever had.

afterwards, we all laughed the laugh that only true joy can bring.  and we slept the sleep that only true joy can bring too. 

and THAT, my friends, is just one of the many fruits of not fighting about bedtime.

dear ella: why i hardly ever post

.....because there is too much to say.

:)

writing about you--or writing about being your mama--isn't as easy as writing about sewing. with sewing, i can just say, "do this, then do that, when you're done you'll have a thing."

but writing about you is very different.  every moment i look at you, something special is happening right before my eyes.  how do i capture what it is like to hear you sing a song you've made up all on your own?   what it's like to see the smile on your face when you see your daddy come thru the door?  how do i put into words the way it feels when you turn to me half asleep and say, "you know, mama, i wub you so much....."?

i can't.  so i procrastinate--looking for the right way to describe the indescribable.

ella, i don't want you to ever think that i care more about sewing than i do about you.  so from now on, i'm just going to write things as they happen.  my posts probably won't be eloquent, they might not be as articulate as i'd like--but you are so exquisite, so miraculous, that even an awkard post cannot conceal how astonishing you are.

i love you most most, ella, dada loves you most most too!